Do as I do said a frog in the fog,
and he flopped into a pond.
How lucky was he,
for he couldn’t look beyond.
Do as I do said the frog in the fog,
and he leapt out to dry.
How lucky was he,
for he didn’t even try.
Do as I do said the frog in the fog,
and he swallowed a fly.
How lucky was he,
for his word is no lie.
Do as I do said the frog to a toad,
suddenly some lights; dazzled, he froze.
The toad belched, you’re in the damn road!
The frog in the fog, so it goes.
Today, I buried the car under the garden, or enterrer la voiture sous la Jardin; it makes no difference to me. As I sit on its corroded roof of raised ochre paint and brushed steel. By coincidence, I sit at sea level to distant oceans that are full of old weather and distress.
I know there is never a sea that’s forever as level as this laid lawn, and so I recall, on purpose I left the engine running. So it is that I’m repeated to fade as time delays the dream in which I sit, statuesque, waiting on my cars dented roof, for something to erase what I didn’t mean.
Then, suddenly the car drives through the soil, searching for oil. I’m destined to travel with it. With consummate ease, I’m driven forwards, for I assume that is where I face, and above an underground road, with all speediest motion of the most stubborn small hand of a basic clock, through terrain as varied as the subconscious memories of the recent dead.
My progress never slows until I discover the edge of this world dissolving like an old cake from age, churned from its constant turning. Now I’ve slipped into another world, of some sense. As I arrive, seamlessly through a subtle zipped window, I’m suddenly driving through dull traffic, so dense; with the clumsy authority of a process mounted car on set. I’m steering the wheel, it’s looser than I imagined, it’s no use, and the scenery is a little disjointed from the direction I steer in. Maybe the next world will find me before I find it! Or before I find the brakes.
One pink packet of crisps for sale; unwanted birthday present, acceptable condition (only one crisp missing). Replacement crisps are readily available. Only serious offers welcome. Call or email me, you know who I am.
So we decided to drive up the waterfall, but the waterfall was redundant and
dry. While travelling vertically; the impossible was performed with ease, I
couldn’t help but wear a fixed smile until arriving at its crest.
Then a tarn with tranquil water, slick and so pure with
elaborately carved structures floating: some were peacefully rotating.
I noticed they were broken, perhaps abandoned before completion. It was at
that moment I had forgotten why we… but more now I, was there at all.
Somehow without trying, I walked forwards, sure-footed: leaving behind what
had vanished behind me.
Now everything was much closer, and silent, with timely rushes of air, pressed
intermittently at my cheek; forced gently by numerous random walls from
what were now replica houses made from wood.
Clocklike and clockwise, suddenly in the far distance I see faceless builders as
undisturbed artists that do not seem to care, and the placid water
nearby does not respond to the continuous stirring upon it. The half buildings
have reversed the effects of time, and suddenly I must go… where? I do not
know.
Human Clock
Whenever I think of you
I never choose to bleed time
I just do
Moon Collapse
The moon collapsed
And the sea never saw that coming
So the Sun took its place
And the sea dried up from bad plumbing
The Race to the Lake
They ran
They swam
They ran back
To the van
In a shimmering sea lies creation,
a wrecked city, a lost at sea population.
Provisionally, some strangers are made king,
so long as the shore-wind that follows does sing.
Now I can daydream considerably longer,
as I become the tide, I arrive stronger.
In a lost world, without soil or land,
many sandcastles are formed without their sand.
Then I see an overhead sign in neon magenta,
The Last Salty Sea-dogs Drop-in Centre.
A merman’s place but as man-made as a moat,
now is the time if on dry ground I shall float.
And to scribble from the teeth of a shark,
keep your mouth shut and leave before dark!
‘Hello, I wondered if you c—‘
‘Help you? Yes I can’
‘Oh…ok great, well, are you able t—‘
‘Yes, yes I can do that for you.’
‘I’m sorry but can you please s—‘
‘Stop Interrupting! Sorry, no, I can’t possibly do that!’
‘Ok, well I’ll–‘
‘Go somewhere else?’
‘Yes! Sorry but, but do you do this t–‘
‘All my customers…yes I’m afraid I do, is it–‘
‘Annoying! Yes! Yes it bloody well is!’
‘Ah, but you’ve been here before you see, not five minutes ago, asking me for the same thing. Actually, every-day, you come in everyday and ask for something, we always have this conversation.’
‘Oh, sorry I–‘
‘No its fine, really, please come again.’
‘But I’ve forgotten what I came in for now!’
‘Precisely, it’s your conscience you see. I have lots of other customers identical to you and they never come in for the reason they thought they did. They just feel they need to.’
‘Really, what shop is this anyway? What do you sell?’
‘Shop! This isn’t a shop! No, no, no, this is, I mean to say I am…This is your conscience, like I was saying, we, we together are your conscience. It’s always like this. You see, your real-self is actually out there, outside of here, somewhere.’
‘Ok. Well if that’s the case I’m gonna go now, out there, Ok, get some air.’
‘Goodbye yes, goodbye, you were going earlier as well weren’t you, but then, yet again you needed some filling in, as always, anyway, goodbye it is then.’
‘Hello, I wondered if you can –‘
‘Help you? Yes I can.’
.
Di don dow wad iddis abowd davina dold thad
Id mades mead downed lide a ride didiot!
Bud da grade thig is idd gis you a grade readon da dee won!
Ad dis won made dew downed lide won…Atchoo!
Once there was a boy who was the living dead
He lived his life with a bird on his head
There the bird stood, it blinked quickly and often
Watching and observing its eyes would not soften
Funny, they looked different but yet much the same
Sharp nose, small eyes, spindly legs, round bodied frame
The boy spoke little, as the bird did the squawking
When the bird said chirp the boy did the walking
Chirp, tweet, chirp, tweet, chirp, cheep-cheep
The bird was only quiet when the boy was asleep
Tweet, Tweet! Squawked the bird, early in the morning
The boy heard little when his mouth wide from yawning
The boy, barely awake, a real zombie he did make
Chirp! Effing! Chirp said the bird, it means in English, For effs sake!
“Ok, enough!” said the boy and got on with his day
The bird shut his beak and thought who…Effing…Ray!
Mountain Man Unlimited Vacancy Announcement
Watcher of the Mountains Required
We are a small family run business; the company has most recently been prestigiously recognised in Landscape of the Mind magazine, currently in their Top 5 most unlikely charities of 2015.
We are looking for a suitable candidate who must have an acute eye for outstanding views that incorporate mountains. Basic knowledge of mountains, such as their magnitude, shade and profile is preferred but not essential as full personal training can be tailored to suit your requirements.
Basic salary is set at your preference but please be realistic, you don’t own the business yet and as a result we won’t take your application seriously. Special excursions are a premium and you as the successful candidate will be paid handsomely in lakes and waterfalls, these hold no monetary value. You will, of course, be expected to travel at your own free will, all expenses paid and in all embracing comfort to numerous destinations around the globe. Your evidence of breath-taking views, are, to be captured using various media. Your skill in having photos or videos no more or longer than absolutely necessary is essential, as boring our clients will only result in your job placement being terminated.
Our clients are specifically adults and children who are sadly disadvantaged by their materialism or have simply never been out, so excellent communication skills must be applied. Job application date is on-going so there is no rush. We really want you the person who made this up, so please don’t waste your time with a CV and cover note as we won’t read them, but we will always reply a.s.a.p. in your interest.
Please contact yourself for details.
I Eat Let.ers 