Category Archives: poems

Nothing

IMG_0790

Half-a-pence

Of nonsense

And a teardrop

Of morose

Slow drowned

With canned

Laughter

And nothing

 Comes close

Advertisements

Rising Fall

Losing my grip now,

and so gravity ensures

my future’s prescribed.

Gently tumbling;

prolonging, 

buoyant;

like a fleck of fresh dust.

How structure and design

now discards me;

to unearth odd ceilings;

calmly engage my feet;

on hovering,

flirtatious,

ground.

 

Laugh Now

No jokes please! Not without first approval.

Especially long ones, they will result in your removal.

Most likely it won’t be funny or slightly amusing,

And if I should smile, point a finger to myself, accusing.

At some shit-awful joke told reliably badly,

I’ll give you the punchline of your life… gladly.

Best Before Date

imag0761-1.jpg

Loaf of bread, best before date 1-2-16

Banana, best before date 2-2-16

Skimmed milk, best before date 3-2-16

A bottle of wine…

Barn eggs, best before date 4-2-16

Whole Chicken, best before date 5-2-16

Sugar, best before date 6-2-16

Bottle of water, best before date 7-2-15!

Dates, best before date… correction

One bad joke, use by date…

This poem’s best by date…

Everything expired… rotting freely.

 

Field Ban For Rocking Horses

imag0322-1.jpg

 

Only real horses with real legs allowed!

The signs, at the field, ordered, as the wind howled.

 

The rockers rocked slowly; utterly devastated.

Being fed a downright lie; their field was so highly rated.

 

In their fury they rocked hard and rammed the signs down.

The real horses while shitting; fled, galloping to town.

 

The field was now theirs and everything was great!

Until the towns-folk arrived with rusty saws and spiteful hate.

 

A long, calamitous battle commenced in which nobody won.

Then the contractors arrived…

 

 

Daphne Slowly Drying (In Her New Rain)

Daphne’s rain was immense and abnormal; weather so adverse that individual drops of water (the size of one of her own fists) exploded mercilessly upon contact with her petite frame; her shoulders sharp; set to be coat-hanging for a lifetime.

Then at a moment; when her dry humour was her only shelter, she decided she would stand, waiting, slowly drying in her new rain; showing loyalty even beyond her understanding.