Tag Archives: Nonsense

Wait on Waiter

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He said, “Wait a minute!” I’m not waiting in that sitting room, I’ll be over there, sitting in the waiting room — I can take the weight off my feet!”

While sitting in the waiting room, the waiters were busy waiting to set the table; as so he didn’t have to wait (because that’s what waiters are supposed to do!).

Then, they could wait on him.

The weight on him was something else! The waiters had noticed that while they waited for him to choose where he wanted to sit!

Eventually, his table was ready, but only after waiting for everybody else to finish and leave where they were sitting; typical, because that’s only where he wanted to sit!

Eventually, after an excruciatingly long decision on what he wanted to eat, whatever he happened to choose was off the menu. Three unwanted, overcooked meals followed, and with every excruciating wait the waiters arrived decidedly — very much late.

Before the bill, everyone fell ill, and in the end, all that waiting killed them (quite literally) in just one sitting. Much, much later they were carried off the establishment; in bags… none the less, only for the ambulances that carried them away to breakdown — in impassable traffic… what rotten luck!

 

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Finding Found

When it’s all too much or you just can’t stick it,

And your impulse is to refuse.

But what if this is a trick, can it be too late?

Now… how funny is this? Or so cruel,

How strange; repulsively-beautiful.

But right now you can’t explain; you can’t begin to try!

Because…

At least one of us is the same; you feel better now

Finding found… Goodbye!

Field Ban For Rocking Horses

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Only real horses with real legs allowed!

The signs, at the field, ordered, as the wind howled.

 

The rockers rocked slowly; utterly devastated.

Being fed a downright lie; their field was so highly rated.

 

In their fury they rocked hard and rammed the signs down.

The real horses while shitting; fled, galloping to town.

 

The field was now theirs and everything was great!

Until the towns-folk arrived with rusty saws and spiteful hate.

 

A long, calamitous battle commenced in which nobody won.

Then the contractors arrived…

 

 

Jack and Gillian (No letter T)

Jack and Gillian progressed up a hill,

For a pail of H20.

Jack fell down and broke his crown,

And Gillian came nose-diving behind.

 

As a consequence Jack ran home,

As quickly as he could.

He was wrapped up in bed, plus a bandage on his head,

Soaked in vinegar and brown paper!

 

Gillian laughed aloud maniacally!

As Jack curled up like a ball.

Gillian cried, ‘We’re very ill you see Jack!’

Jack said ‘Yes, I agree… And my name is Paul!’

 

 

Firesky!

At an aggressive speed

I was losing my way

I was feeling so alive

Seeing what could never be

The atmosphere burned red

And so I thought of what will be

…from now on

I noticed then what I never see

Chrome slithering roads and bloodied sky

With all moistures weeping in blue

Rolling, cruising, endless

On and over flattening mountains

This is what I’m telling you

Those slow buildings in green

I’ve finally found out what I almost lost

And sensed what I had never seen

All around while dissolving out

Through and into the Firesky!

 

 

 

Frog In Fog

Do as I do said a frog in the fog,

and he flopped into a pond.

How lucky was he,

for he couldn’t look beyond.

Do as I do said the frog in the fog,

and he leapt out to dry.

How lucky was he,

for he didn’t even try.

Do as I do said the frog in the fog,

and he swallowed a fly.

How lucky was he,

for his word is no lie.

Do as I do said the frog to a toad,

suddenly some lights; dazzled, he froze.

The toad belched, you’re in the damn road!

The frog in the fog, so it goes.