Tag Archives: Humour

The Unreliables

September 14, 2025creative writing, Poem, Uncategorized, WordsCommunication, Customer Service, Disorganised, Humour, Life, Poem, Unreliable, Unreliable People, wordskmjmreed

Miss B Communication

Never answers

To Mr N O’time

As he

Loses track of Miss C again and again

Those unreliable fuckers!

ADD TITLE

September 13, 2025creative writing, Poem, WordsBad Joke, creative writing, Humour, No Subject, Not funny, Poem, Prompt, Sarcasm, Short, Something Vague, This Really is Quite Serious Actually, Thoughts, Timekmjmreed

Start writing…

I didn’t bother with much of a title but I started writing as you can see

But I’ve forgotten how to write, or rather I think it’s forgotten me

Start writing…

Next to the damn curser, every new fricken line, start writing, start writing… but how to finish cleverly this time…

…stop writing.

Anna Lies

June 13, 2019creative writing, poetry, short stories, WordsFriends, Humour, lies, Nonsense, overthinking, poetry, relationships, Short Story, wordskmjmreed

Its’s all true, she said

Anna Liza lied

And even as she analysed

Her very own lies

All the while staring into Hanna’s eyes

Hanna tried easily to

Lie about disbelieving the

Lies Anna Liza told her

And she herself analysed

Anna’s lies that she spoke of

But Anna Lisa

Can see a liar a mile off;

When she sees one

And Hanna hasn’t met

A good liar yet

So both turned and left

Their lies lying

and so as it was

Anna and Hanna

Never met again

And for this reason

They were a little wiser…

But that could be lie

The Last Moon on the Left (excerpt)

February 5, 2017creative writing, Poem, short stories, WordsBrothers, Children at Bedtime, Excerpt from a short story of mine, Fear, Humour, Imagination, Life, Monsters, Space, The Downstairs Worldkmjmreed

The bizarre kettle-shaped spaceship, suddenly turns off its powerful engine of raging bubbles. Now, both young boys listen intensly, to the slow, muted, thud of footsteps… from the creepy bottom step… to the agonisingly close and creaky top step of the stairs.

But it’s soon after those footsteps stop, after the deathly silence they create, when something that sounds as light as a balloon, and travelling in the unnatural breeze of the night; bumps innocently light, then mysteriously heavier (again and again) onto the exposed floorboards of the landing.

Luke (the younger ) suddenly remembers that in the most recent past, he had found ‘the landing’ very confusing, because nothing that he was aware of… until now, had ever landed there.

Gin

January 29, 2017Micro Fiction, Poem, WordsBarman, Drunk, Gin, Humour, Life, New Job, Pointless Conversation, Pub, Slurring, Vodka, Workkmjmreed

“Did you realise Deidre, that gin is little more than vodka with added flavours?” said Lars.

(He was the new barman)

Deidre didn’t realise.

She slurred, “Am-alergit-te-too–mudge-voka!”

Lars immediately felt the job wasn’t for him.

Tour Guide

September 18, 2016Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, poetry, WordsAdverse Weather, Bad Holiday, Body-Fat, Holidays, Humour, Information, Nobody Here There or Anywhere, Not Bothered, Over Worked, Sci-Fi, Surreal, Tour Guide, wordskmjmreed

“Those are the sounds of your body-fat dissolving under the piercing heat of this sun!” he said; the tour guide not realising if there was anyone actually there… yet to come.

The Face in the Dirt (in the Festivals Field)

July 24, 2016poetry, WordsAlcohol, Camping, Drugs, Festival, Humour, Music, Porta-loo, Surreal, The Revolting Good Times, wordskmjmreed

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The face in the dirt in the festivals field

Has always kept quiet, never been revealed

The face in the dirt prefers lying low.

Only appears where grass doesn’t show.

One eye is on the clouds, the other; passers-by.

Never communicates, doesn’t even try.

Drinks from beer spilt and other revolting fluid,

Gobbles dropped food out of view from a steward.

A peeping tom from experiments gone wrong,

The face; never has said cheerio, so long!

It may be under a tent, where someone’s sitting,

Under you’re porta-loo with the smells emitting.

Maybe it’s just enjoying the music, the atmosphere.

When you tell people, make that abundantly clear…

And have a nice time!

Some Telephone Conversation (She Said)

June 12, 2016Flash Fiction, poetry, WordsA Generation Thing, Age, Conversations, Earwigging, He said she said we all said, Humour, Life, Nostalgia, Oh i Know, Phone Speak, Phonecallkmjmreed

So I said wouldn’t you have thought they would of known?

She said I know.

I said, well it’s just not good enough!

She said I know.

I know you know I said, but I’ve said I’ve said one too many times already!

She said she hadn’t noticed until I mentioned it.

But then, she said, thinking about it she said, I didn’t like to say but that she was glad that I had said so… in the end.

So that made us really laugh, and then we both said, ‘speak to you soonly’ at exactly the same time!

We just wet ourselves laughing!

I think we told just about everybody about it! Anyway, I had the dinner in the oven, and she said her son had just popped in to say hello, so we had to say goodbye…. yep, bye, oh ok, oh no! Really? Never-mind, yep, bye-bye then, yeah, ok…by then!

Catchphrase

May 29, 2016Flash Fiction, poetry, WordsA longer conversation than previously anticipated, Catchphrases, Flash Fiction, Humour, Something, Who Are Quiz Show Contestants?, Winners and Losers, wordskmjmreed

“So you see, i think you’ve got the long end of a very short stick!” Said the man.

“You mean the wrong end of the stick!!” Replied the woman.

“Listen, you’re misunderstanding me!”

“Believe me, i’m not, but your phrase is all wrong and frankly, quite ridiculous!”

Little did he know that she was a veteran contestant and all time winner of the Catchphrase television show, and would’nt let this man off the hook easily (tragically, much later, the man felt the sharp end of one and finally had his chips!!)

Inspired Writers Block

May 17, 2016poetry, Uncategorized, WordsBe Inspired, Blah blah blah, Humour, I Have Nothing Good to Say, Life, poetry, Thoughts, words, Writers Block, Writingkmjmreed

Gonna get up

Gonna write something

Get up

And write

Write Something

Something great

The best ever

The number one

Gonna get up

Here it comes

Gonna write

Something