“Did you realise Deidre, that gin is little more than vodka with added flavours?” said Lars.
(He was the new barman)
Deidre didn’t realise.
She slurred, “Am-alergit-te-too–mudge-voka!”
Lars immediately felt the job wasn’t for him.
Tag Archives: Life
Exit, Entrance to Exit
The whites of her eyes trembled like approaching dual headlights in heat-haze.
Each pinkly foot all a blur; cradled loosely by a pair of slip on cups; adjoined by two nonsynchronous shotguns; lock and loading; firing her across the nightclubs remix of slip and adhesion.
Her slight outline; disappearing/reappearing; a visual offbeat to the paparazzi furore that follow her with discord; some giddy travel through extra-terrestrial lights of seizure.
To a close country border,
Fire doors! she cried, unlikely to be heard… or in thought.
Now here is the swing and hinged odds; potholed by scattered youth with inebriated limbs; blotted by dazed fireflies that danced in the smokes.
Surrendering to official air, the same air that blows your sweat gently across your neck into deltas on your chest, only reminiscent… to be felt.
When gravity falters, this Mother Earth is momentarily off her axis.
Her daughter follows one snaking line of shy neon; in and out of sight, forever smaller, staccato, in black, can paranoid be the night?
Lets Talk About the Weather
Let’s talk about the weather.
Let’s lay in bed slightly longer, and nearer together.
Hello, how are you?
Let’s talk about the weather.
Let’s decorate the house in pleasure.
I’m just fine thank-you!
Let’s talk about the weather.
Let’s be blind to age and be young forever.
And how are you?
Let’s talk about the weather.
Let’s plan our holidays and remember the last endeavour.
I am good… thank-you!
Thingmebob Thingmejig
Hey! Mr Thingmebob! What are you?
Oh I’m similar to you Miss Thingmejig, that is… you are my only clue.
That’s nice! but not useful, I need to know more!
Ok, you’re something forgotten that somebody left before.
Soothing… how charming that I fill that void, really though, i’m less than buoyed!
Listen, we’re something! stick with me, in our confusion… we’ll both be happy!
‘What part of your life did I walk into?’
Teenage Lust
He was all of eighteen summers,
She: just seventeen short winters.
In love; he connected fully with spring,
In love; her longing best served in autumn.
Together they lasted all but four seasons.
And yet years later; as they recall,
They’re split was for no reason at all.
Some Telephone Conversation (She Said)
So I said wouldn’t you have thought they would of known?
She said I know.
I said, well it’s just not good enough!
She said I know.
I know you know I said, but I’ve said I’ve said one too many times already!
She said she hadn’t noticed until I mentioned it.
But then, she said, thinking about it she said, I didn’t like to say but that she was glad that I had said so… in the end.
So that made us really laugh, and then we both said, ‘speak to you soonly’ at exactly the same time!
We just wet ourselves laughing!
I think we told just about everybody about it! Anyway, I had the dinner in the oven, and she said her son had just popped in to say hello, so we had to say goodbye…. yep, bye, oh ok, oh no! Really? Never-mind, yep, bye-bye then, yeah, ok…by then!
Some days are quieter than the shy; but lifes so busy we forget to ask ourselves… Why?
Inspired Writers Block
Gonna get up
Gonna write something
Get up
And write
Write Something
Something great
The best ever
The number one
Gonna get up
Here it comes
Gonna write
Something
Something great
Here it comes now…
Ok, tomorrow then
Wait on Waiter
He said, “Wait a minute!” I’m not waiting in that sitting room, I’ll be over there, sitting in the waiting room — I can take the weight off my feet!”
While sitting in the waiting room, the waiters were busy waiting to set the table; as so he didn’t have to wait (because that’s what waiters are supposed to do!).
Then, they could wait on him.
The weight on him was something else! The waiters had noticed that while they waited for him to choose where he wanted to sit!
Eventually, his table was ready, but only after waiting for everybody else to finish and leave where they were sitting; typical, because that’s only where he wanted to sit!
Eventually, after an excruciatingly long decision on what he wanted to eat, whatever he happened to choose was off the menu. Three unwanted, overcooked meals followed, and with every excruciating wait the waiters arrived decidedly — very much late.
Before the bill, everyone fell ill, and in the end, all that waiting killed them (quite literally) in just one sitting. Much, much later they were carried off the establishment; in bags… none the less, only for the ambulances that carried them away to breakdown — in impassable traffic… what rotten luck!
I Eat Let.ers 